Darius Muniz
Professor Mapel
Counseling Interview
November 9th, 2010
Interview 2
This was a follow up interview of client E and took place one month after the initial interview. This session was recorded audibly for a twenty minute duration and was set up as an unstructured dyadic interaction as was the first interview. Client E is a Puerto Rican male, 24 years of age and still resides in the Bronx with his immediate family. Client E is still unemployed and has informed me that overall his situation is still unchanged. Client E arrived to the interview 15 minutes early dressed in blue jeans, a white sweater, a blue Yankees cap and was ready to begin the interview with apparent enthusiasm.
Darius: So how are things going at home?
E: Same thing different day….I mean home life is….it could be better
but everyday is always some bullshit…..I have to find another place to move
to….no funds….wife cheated on me….fucking bitch……I have to figure out how I’m
going to fend for my daughter now…..you know….sucks his teeth….it’s really
getting to me…..anddd…everybody just….I don’t know…..for some reason
everybody in my family feels that they need to start reconciling….for some
reason….my sister calls me the other day trying to be nice to me acting like I’m
her buddy….starts telling me about her new problems and ahh….I’m noticing like
a recurring pattern that everybody seems to think that if I feel sorry for them
that I’m going to like forget the shit that they done to me….you know……and….
Darius: I don’t mean to cut you off but….. you said your wife was
cheating on you?
E: Yeahhhh……
Darius: Would you like to talk about that?
E: I mean…to tell you the truth…. it’s a dead issue to me….It’s just
ummm…..I mean I’m not going to be a hypocrite or nothing….I did it first…..well
not really I just did it better and ummm….and she just continued to do it even
after I stopped….I was like shit…this is not what I really wanted to
happen…..come to find out she’s continuing doing it and…maybe she did it better
than me…I don’t know….laughs……
Darius: So you did it first?
E: Well…I mean…I retaliated first…..but……
Darius: So she did it first.
E: Yeah….ummm…it started off with ahh the whole library thing…her
wanting to be on Myspace…shit like that….come to find out she’s talking to like
three different dudes from the Bronx….and then like….so she makes the excuse
that they are just friends….she didn’t know who they were and they just started
talking….
Darius: How long ago was this?
E: This was…I’ve been going through this problem with her and I
already…I already know why that’s why I say it’s a dead issue because ahh…I
should of known better…you know what I’m saying…the reason how I met my
wife is to be truthful is I stole her from someone else…..so that just goes to show
me that I was a moron in the first place…then ahh…long and behold I do more
stupidity and go and marry the broad…like…you know…what was I really thinking
but like I said that all stems back from me….
Darius: How long after you were dating her did you find out she was
talking to someone else? ( I found myself feeling a little angry because I’ve
experienced a situation where the woman I was with cheated on me)
E: When did I find out that she was doing it to me…ummm……figure
we were talking for a year in a half….so…….pause.......................................
E: she just did it……she’s been doing it….you know…under my nose…….
Darius: How long were you and your wife dating before you married her?
E: a year later……you know like a year later……we got married…..but
the whole Reason we got married is because ahhh…I was in ahhh….my religious
phase…and ummm…..i actually married her because she was going to conceive a
child….and ummm….she was pregnant…… and she lost the child…..
Darius: She had a miscarriage?
E: yeah she had a miscarriage…..and ummm……that was because
ahhh…I had no support back then….and I was living in a shelter back then…and
ummm…I was living in a shelter and unfortunately she had to go to a shelter
too….you know sheee….lost the child because she got into a conflict with a
female there…….pause……..she lost the child…….pause……..
Darius: How did that affect you? (I felt his pain here and could see the
apparent self loathing and self blame. Like it was his fault)
E: I felt kinda…..ahh……. responsible……..it hurt……..pause……….
Darius: You met your wife in the shelter?
E: NOO……she lived in California….we came down……we came back to
the city together…..
Darius: So you met her in California?
E: This is how it happened…..I met her umm….through a friend of
mine named Steven ahhh….and Charlie…..and ahh…Steven was the one actually
talking to her…and ahh…..one night….he was ahhh…..just discussing with me
how he really didn’t feel comfortable with her….whatever have you …and we
were drunk….and ahhh….I for some reason….I,I,I……what do they say….you sow
what you reap?
Darius: You reap what you sow.
E: yeah…I did it to myself that night because I actually caused harm
to somebody that trusted me……and that…..sticks with me…you know what I’m
saying….and I get what I payed for because in taking her from him I ended up in
a hole.
Darius: You said he was having a problem with her?
E: It was just the lack of communication….that ahhh…also the
distance…you know they were having a problem with distance….so I was like
hey…if anything throw her my way and I’ll talk to her….
Darius: This all happened in California?
E: No…this all happened in New York…she lived in California as they
were talking….she was out there…he was over here and they met through Boost
chat line….yeahhh……that’s how they met…..
Darius: let me get this straight….
E: yeah he met her through a Boost chat line….so it’s like
ahhh….eharmony for boost…….laughs……but uummm…that’s how he met her and
ummm….that night we’re talking and he just kept going at it….. and….. we were
liquored the hell up!......talking about we were twisted…..and ummm…I told him
pass me the phone….he was like why?.....I was like I want to do
something….because you’re all discouraged and shit……he was like….he passed
me the phone….I didn’t think he was going to do it….and I started talking to her
and immediately got her number and shit….and we started talking and then he
started wondering as days gone by….why is that she isn’t talking to him or
answering his calls…..and I’m standing right next to the nigger and
like…giggling……laughs…….you know so that’s why I say it like I did it to
myself….and I don’t know why….that’s why I feel uncomfortable with myself at
times……you learn from what you do….you know…..and don’t do it again
Darius: so your saying…that…since you took her from somebody
else…that you deserve what you got? ( a part of me agreed with him….that he
deserved what hegot….for his deliberate betrayal of his friend….I mean where’s the
honor)
E: I see it in that aspect….yeah….because I should have known
better…..you know what I’m saying….I mean look at how after I accomplished
communicating with the girl and…then I’m moving to California and like…..moving
in with her andher family…and then I have them all under my roof….type
shit…and then her brother is the one who makes me lose my house because of
his….ahhh….his greed….you know…I was working and ahhh…he wasn’t taking
care of his portion of the bills…and ahhh…the lease was in my name but I
entrusted him and he ended up not paying the rent on time…..and ahhh….he
used all the money for his car…..of which he doesn’t have
today….sooo….yeahhh……laughs…… and then ahhh….after that happened…..I’m
like stuck out there….now I….this is the interesting part…listen to
this……ahhh….she….when I go over there with her…or whatever….I’m told that
I’m going to have a place to stay…you know what I’m saying…..koool…….you
know what I’m saying…...
Darius: How long after you spoke with her on the phone did you end up moving to California?
E: about a year later…..yeah about a year later……
E: so about 6 months after I was in California I came back to New
York with her…..
Darius: You came back with her already married?
E: no we got married over here…..in ahhh….about 3 years ago from now….
E: It was like a big rush and I don’t…I don’t….I mean I know
now….you know what I’m saying….you don’t know what you’re doing until you
see it years later….like damn what did I do………laughs…….you know….but I mean
at that point….I ahhh…was in love with her…..I was……..and ahhhh….I was
blinded…..like cataracts through the whole eye you know……
Darius: So after you guys came back from California the relationship
with her started experiencing problems? ( I was already skeptical of the whole
situation because in my experience you only rush with such spontaneity when
you’re trying to fill up holes that were left by something missing in your life)
E: ……….pause…………………………………….
Darius: Is that when she started cheating on you?
E: I mean it’s always been a part of her….think about it……ahhhh….I
knew nothing about the girl….she was a mystery and ahhh….like this guy
says…it’s always the quiet onesssss…..you know…….laughs………so
it’s…..yeah…..like I did it to myself…..you know…I got them
crazed…..damaged……individual who knows nothing about her own life…and I
expected her to be a wife material?....and a mother figure?......and ahhh….and
ahhh…a good spouse?.......when she can’t even take care of her own ass……you
know like….yeahhh….good thinkin….you know….
Darius: You felt like you were trying to fill a hole?
E: Yeahhh…..I know that….that’s why I ahhh….I ahhh…come to terms
with it……there’s nothing I can do about it now….It’s been done….you know…I
just gotta keep rolling with the punches …and they just keep coming more and
more everyday…….laughs……….that’s life………also its the life that I chose for
myself so who am I really to complain because….if I think about it logically….if
I would of never done those actions…I wouldn’t be in the mess I am in today…..I
would probably be in college….yeah….probably be somewhere else……. you
know…..I don’t know!........and I’ll never know….because of the actions I
took….you know….forced my life in a different direction……
Darius: Your feeling a lot of regret? ( I noticed E tended to blame everyone
else for his bad situations and took on the role of the victim)
E: yeahh….I have a lot of regret…..but I love my daughter…..she’s
not one of them….you know…… I just wish that her mother was more
stable……and you know she can have the life that I want for her……but…..it
doesn’t look like that’s going to happen…..but…I’ll fill in the blanks…I don’t need
her……I don’t need my wife…..my daughters more important than my wife and if
she can’t find her way….she’s not going to be able to lead my daughter……how
can you lead something that your trying to follow yourself……it’s like your chasing
your tail…………..pause……………….
Darius: You mentioned earlier that you had to move.
E: yeah in December….next month….
Darius: What happened with your mother?
E: she’s ahhhh………sighs…………..she’s ………I mean I love the woman
but I don’t understand her…….I really….don’t….understand her……she’s a piece of
work….but ahhh….yeah she’s moving because she’s saying that her lease is
expiring in ahhhh….next month……and umm…..she wants to move….she
doesn’t want to renew her lease and she’s telling me I have to find something to
do with myself…….so……yeah but like I said….this is all my fault…..I let all
these actions go the way they did because I didn’t do what I was supposed to
do….so originally I didn’t follow the plan that was set before me….I strayed from
it……so I’m suffering for it…..but she wouldn’t be one of the ones that I would
of anticipated….even though she’s done worse…..
Darius: Anticipated what?
E: Herrrr…..selfishness……….selfishness………..
Darius: Why because she wants to leave?( I was wondering if his mother
just wanted to leave to get away from him and the chaos that tends to surround him )
E: I don’t blame her…she’s old….she wants to do things with her
life…..you know….with a thirteen year old child at her side……yeahhh….so I don’t
know really what she’s going to do much of……and….ahhh……she’s
miserable....period………………….pause…………………….
Darius: So your mothers going to leave in a month….you and your wife
are having problems……what are your plans with these two situations? ( I wanted
E to try and stop feeling like a victim and put things into perspective )
E: Sending her ass back to where she originated from……..pause……..
Darius: then what are your plans?
E: That’s where I’m having a problem….I….like…… my mental abilities
are not allowing me to surpass this moment…for some reason…and I can’t think
ahead…..and I don’t know why….what am I gonna do….I’m still stuck on
that…what am I gonna do……and I’m still stuck on it for days….weeks….and all
this time I’m noticing …I’m just wasting time and haven’t been doing anything
but…..like….seriously…what am I going to do……..
Darius: How does this situation with your wife make you feel? ( I found
myself understanding what it felt like to feel completely helpless. Betrayed by the one
you love but not sure if she’s causing the problem or are the problems caused by
my own overactive imagination like she suggests…wow to be blinded by love
leaves you vulnerable…to love is to trust completely )
E: Like crap……and she acts as if it never happened…..she goes
about her daily routine as if….you know…..nothing happened and then like
she’s…ahhh…walks around the house when I get there….you know she wants to
be all up in my business what am I doing on my phone now type shit…..and I’m
just looking at her like…aren’t we the guilty one……..she’s funny……..( I’ve found
myself sparked with interest along with getting angry…it’s one thing to find
something out and then it’s another thing when they try to act like you didn’t see
what you saw…you know making you doubt your own perceptions when the evidence
is right in your face…I’ve experienced a similar situation in the past )
Darius: You said guilty one….you mind explaining the situation that
occurred?
E: she answered another guys phone as I was calling him to find out
why he was with her….and that answered my question just by her answering his
phone….so….
Darius: Answered what question?
E: The whole what is she doing….cause seriously….would you answer someone else’s phone……
Darius: She didn’t see your number? ( I found myself despising her)
E: It was a blocked ID when I called…..I can see situations when
somebody they say…oh…I don’t know whose calling…do I want to pick this
up…can you answer this for me…ok that’s a plausible scenario…but what the fuck
was she doing there in the first place……even if she didn’t answer the
phone….you know what I mean….what are you doing in some dudes
house…..with my daughter at that!....you
know….thats….thats….bothersome…..some dude that she met at the
library…..ahhh….a block away from my house….so he like lives in the
neighborhood….already probably knows where the fuck we live…..you know
what I’m saying….and….and….like…she’s just fucking stupid!.....
Darius: You called him in the first place to see if she was with him? ( I felt
bad for him)
E: I called him in the first place to ask why the fuck he called my little
sister’s cell phone number and how the fuck did he get her number in the first
place…..and my wife answers his phone……I was just like…..makes a slapping
sound…….a slap in the face……you know…..
Darius: So what happened when she answered the phone?
E: she was like….ahhh….ahhh…..and then handed it to him…..so I’m
like…..do me a favor and tell that fucking bitch to get home……
Darius: You told him that? ( I wanted to jump up and clap…it was like a
dramatic sense of justice )
E: yeahh…I told him that!.......i was like…and also ahhh…this isn’t the
first time that you been told to stop fucking talking to my wife and ahhh…you
know…I wasn’t the one who told you originally…but you know what…you and I
are going to have a talk personally….I told him….we’re going to have a nice chit
chat face to face….yeah….he was like listen I don’t want any problems….but
we’re beyond problems…..because you aint listen to my mother when she
approached you and told you to your face…….to ahhh…mind your business and
just leave her the fuck alone…she’s married……he wanted to continue…..now
you’re going to have to suffer the fucking consequences no matter how wrong
my wife may be…you know what I’m saying…..it may not even be his fault…..but
it’s not like my mother didn’t approach him….and told him……
Darius: This has happened before? ( I found myself thinking this world is
crazy..it’s hard to trust people )
E: This has happened before!.......it’s not like this is something
new…..like….that’s what I’m saying…it’s just like…the last straw……I’m fed up with
her….I can’t deal with her……she’s a moron!.........plain and simple….she’s a
moron who has issues of her own that she needs to straighten out because she
doesn’t even know who she is or what she wants……I’m not going to have
somebody that is as fragile as that around my daughter…..no!....you’re not going
to misguide her…..
Darius: Is she having a relationship with this guy? ( at this point I’m on
his side…completely disgusted with his wife )
E: I’m pretty sure she is because…this is the scenario that’s going
through my mind…if I’m trying to talk to him or whatever….and I’m already having
problems with my husband….you know damaged goods….right…..so she wants
to see whose calling him to see if it’s a female or whatever……you know what
I’m saying….that’s how woman think….that’s how a dude would think…you
know….if your damaged goods going into a relationship your automatically
accusing the person of cheating…and you want to see or get more involved with
who there talking to on the phone and things like that!......that just goes to
show me that ahhh….she’s trying to control him…..
Darius: What did she say about answering the phone when you got
home later that night? ( I couldn’t imagine how she would be able to deny it )
E: SHE BLEW IT OFF!.......as if it never happened……her excuse to me
was….iwas in the clinic…..with scarcasm………so I explain to her that so you must
havebeen invisible…cause unless they didn’t have you listed in the
book….because I didn’t see you on any of the floors…I don’t know how you could
have been there…and to this day she says that she has documentation from that
appointment from the doctor’s office and I have still yet to see it……so
ahhh……what are you trying to pull over my eyes…I’m not stupid……you know…..
Darius: So she said the person that answered that phone
E: Was not her…….so I was talking to a ghost that sounded exactly
like her……the expressions the way she talks and everything……like I seen her
face over the phone…type shit….you know what I’m saying….that’s how crystal it
was!.........to me…… ( it made me laugh inside how we were on the same page
and he finished my sentence…we shared a common experience )
Darius: So you don’t trust her? ( I know I didn’t )
E: Nope!..........and then she tries to be all lovey dovey with me and
shit…….ahhh….two nights ago nobody made anything to eat and I come
home…I’m hungry…..I wind up making toasted bread with garlic and cheese on
it…..and eating that and she comes into the living room wanting to be my friend
and shit……talking about ohhh I wanted to spend time with you and shit….I told
her do me a favor and get the fuck away from me…..she was like….why are you
being like that…..I told her because I don’t want to be bothered….I want to be
left alone……I don’t want to have anybody around me right now…I just walked in
the house……so she like….. ummm ……went in the room…..and you
know….she tries to be all nice and shit….but I already see past the curtains…..it’s
already too late….the show is up…you know what I’m sayin……it’s like you
know what I’m saying you already know the magicians stunts…you already know
how they do it……that’s pretty much the story….she walked back and that’s
it….you know………sighs…….so……….
Darius: Do you feel like situations are not in your ( again we were on the
same page…this guy could be my twin when it comes to this situation )
E: Not in my control?..........yeahhh………
Darius: How are you handling that? ( I know my situation left me
devastated )
E: I’m not handling it very well…..because if I have that knowledge…I
should be doing something about it….and I’m not…..and I don’t
understand…….I’m still trying to figure it out……………...I guess the puzzle within
myself……………
( It’s this self doubt that I found to be the most unbearable portion of the whole negative situation…I’ve learned to be more careful when entrusting something as powerful as my love to just anyone…and hearing E’s story tells me that I’m not the only one )
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