Using your sources: An exercise

When including source material in your essays, try to use that material to further your discussion and support your points, rather than merely deferring to that material and giving up your authority in the paper. Remember, you are steering the ship of the paper: you are in command. The sources are an important help to you, but they should not overly dominate the discussion. Try out this exercise below for practice with this skill.

Below are two items from research, to be used in an imaginary paper on liberal arts education. The bibliographic information for each item follows immediately after it. Below these source items, you will see an example of a paragraph that attempts to use these source items but falls into the trap of merely copying over the points made by the sources, rather than using the sources to further the writer's own point.  

The exercise: Please read that paragraph and diagnose what seems wrong about it, what seems ok about it, and how it could be improved; then, please write out an improved version of the paragraph, one that uses the sources in support of a point.

Note: Please include correct parenthetical citations and make a Works Cited list, in proper MLA format, after the paragraph. You might notice that one of the sources below is already written out for you in MLA format, while the other one is not.

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researched item #1:

"Studies show that students with a strong liberal arts background go on to have higher job satisfaction ratings in their chosen career."

Source: "Special Report on Liberal Arts in Higher Education." National Education Association. 4 April 2006. <http://www.nea.org>. 17 March 2007. ( no author listed; no page #s, since it is from the Web)

researched item #2:

"Without question, students who possess a broad base of education, a strong liberal arts background, are the most well-rounded, the most truly educated, individuals. Indeed, it is in the very essence of the higher educational endeavor to educate the entire individual. Without liberal arts education, we would certainly have more specialists, yes, but at what cost? Do we really want a world full of narrow, uninformed, and frankly uneducated specialists?" (the quote comes from page 13 of the article)

Source: Fielding Q. Fopsworth, Ph.D., Professor of Education at Harvard University , as quoted in the article "What is the State of the Liberal Arts?" by Thomas Tankersly, from Education Week magazine, July 23, 2005, pages 11-16.

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The original (flawed) paragraph:

Many people think that liberal arts education is important. One of the sources pointed out that "Studies show that students with a strong liberal arts background go on to have higher job satisfaction ratings in their chosen career." This is a strong point in favor of liberal arts education. In addition, Fielding Fopsworth states "Do we really want a world full of narrow, uninformed, and frankly uneducated specialists?" The points raised by both of the articles are good ones. I myself strongly believe in the importance of getting a well-rounded education. Even if it takes me a little longer to complete my education, I feel it will be worth it, both for my own development and for my eventual career.